Perception, Poetry, and Purpose: An Autoethnography of a Chronically Ill and Neurodivergent Public Servant
Notice bibliographique
Résumé
This study offers an autoethnographic exploration of what I've experienced while navigating the public service in Canada as a chronically ill, neurodivergent person who worked at the intersection of accessibility, disability rights and service design. The layered complexities over my 15-year public service career allow me to draw on personal narratives, thematic analysis and systemic design to interrogate the emotional, structural and historical barriers faced by persons with disabilities. I explore key experiences - including systemic discrimination, advocacy and burnout, and moments of resilience, as this research seeks to uncover how policy and practice shape identity and agency. I am seeking to answer the question about how my lived experiences as a chronically ill, neurodivergent public servant has illuminated the systemic failures of trauma-informed care within public service institutions. I unpack my lived experiences and what they reveal about the interplay between trauma, chronic illness, and the capacity for systemic change in the public service. I’m seeking to unlock my experiences in accessibility as a neurodivergent individual with a 15+ year career within the Canadian Federal Government. I incorporate elements of poetry, prose, metaphor and visuals to provide an evocative lens to examine these dynamics, positioning this study as a call to action for a more equitable public service. I lean into formative life events that shaped my worldview and the dissonance between policies, practices and lived realities. This study offers a critique on the tokenism and optics-driven culture in modern public service, highlighting the emotional labour often carried by people with disabilities. The performative aspects can allow us to uncover opportunities for genuine change. In modern public service, superficial actions and activism are designed to project an image of support without any tangible or meaningful change. This often leads to the perpetuation of systemic equities. These types of tokenistic behaviours aim to use feel good illusions of progress which mask the pervasive challenges faced by people with disabilities. Throughout my career I have observed many performative practices, often identifying these and challenging their superficial nature geared towards compliance. Even those projects that started with the goal of developing authentic, equity or inclusion driven reforms to address real needs would find themselves being shrivelled down, de-scoped, de-prioritized, and shaped into fuzzy narratives of change and progress. Moving beyond these performative gestures might seem impossible. It requires a commitment to substantive policy changes, deeper accountability, and more voices invited in that are valued, listened to and actioned upon through reciprocal involvement of disabled lives in the decision-making process. By confronting and dismantling performative activism, we may pave the way for a more equitable public service that truly embodies the principles of inclusivity and accessibility.
Récupéré en direct depuis OpenAlex et désinversé. Les résumés ne sont pas conservés dans cette base de données : les index inversés représentent 8,6 Go des 9,3 Go de texte de la base, et le serveur dispose de 13 Go libres.
Comment cette classification a été obtenuedéplier
Prédiction machine sur la base complète
Imitation des enseignantsNi prévalence calibrée, ni vérité terrain. Validation humaine à venir. Le volet Gemma est une étiquette directe du modèle pour chaque travail de la base, lue sur la notice réduite au titre. Le volet Codex est un classifieur appris des 10 348 étiquettes directes de Codex et calibré sur les taux pondérés de l'échantillon; les champs sans appui suffisant ne portent aucun appel Codex. Le mode candidate est l'union des deux volets; le consensus est leur intersection. Ces sorties portent le statut machine_predicted_unvalidated et ne sont pas des étiquettes humaines.
Scores du classifieur distillé par catégorie (deux têtes)
| Catégorie | Codex | Gemma |
|---|---|---|
| Métarecherche | 0,004 | 0,011 |
| Méta-épidémiologie (sens strict) | 0,001 | 0,001 |
| Méta-épidémiologie (sens large) | 0,001 | 0,001 |
| Bibliométrie | 0,002 | 0,002 |
| Études des sciences et des technologies | 0,024 | 0,035 |
| Communication savante | 0,008 | 0,005 |
| Science ouverte | 0,002 | 0,007 |
| Intégrité de la recherche | 0,003 | 0,007 |
| Charge utile insuffisante (le modèle a refusé de juger) | 0,003 | 0,001 |
Scores machine (provisoires)
Les deux têtes enseignantes du modèle étudiant, lues sur ce travail. Un score ordonne la base pour la relecture; il n'affirme jamais une catégorie, et le statut de validation accompagne chaque rangée tel quel.
Scores de référence d'un modèle non mature (critères de maturité non atteints, 7 itérations). Un score ordonne; il n'affirme jamais une catégorie.
score_only:v0-immature-baseline · tel quel depuis la passe de notation : score_only signifie que le nombre peut ordonner les travaux, et qu'aucune étiquette de catégorie n'en découleClassification
machine, non validéePrédiction automatique; un appel candidat d’une seule source (Gemma direct ou Codex distillé), pas un consensus.
Le détail, modèle par modèle et score par score, se trouve en fin de page sous « Comment cette classification a été obtenue ».