© 2007 Canadian Medical Association or its licensors The Left Atrium

Do you know why you’re here?” Truth be told, I thought that was all I did know; that and the fact that in life I had been a physician. I certainly didn’t know where “here ” was, and wasn’t too sure who “I ” was … Can you remember who I was? can you still feel it?1... or when “it ” was. I supposed this was what it felt like to be disori-ented times 3. I nodded at my questioner. “I am here to be judged. ” If this was a dream, it was like no dream I had ever dreamt, for the fear I felt was like no fear I had ever felt. Fear of eternal damnation — whatever that meant. My questioner looked back at me and sighed. “You are here to judge.” In the silence that followed, I be-came aware of a nearby shadow. He hung his head in a gesture of resigna-tion, helpless now to influence what was apparently to follow. I recognized him as a fellow physician I had known in life and realized that I was being asked to judge his behaviour in life sim-ply because I, too, was a physician… Can you find my pain? can you heal it? Then lay your hands upon me now And cast this darkness from my soul.1 My being cast in the role of judge struck me as odd and disappointing. I had not known him particularly well, and I vaguely recalled not liking him very much. I felt profound sadness and believe that I was crying. I had al-ways expected — or rather, I had al-ways hoped — that in the end there would be perfect justice. Damnation of the wicked, salvation of the good, a discerning and just but merciful De-ity. Now it appeared that justice would be imperfectly meted out by a peer — and a not impartial one at that — much as it had been in life. No di-vine comedy; on the contrary, just a human tragedy. I had made a living listening care-fully to what people told me, reading between the lines. It occurred to me now that my response — “I am here to be judged ” — had not been contra-dicted. Was it possible, I wondered, that unlike the poor soul before me I still had a chance to favourably or un-favourably influence my own judgment? This is a test, I thought. Yes, a final test. I must be just but merciful. But, oh my God, what if my judgement is un-justly or unmercifully damning? WouldDO

Récupéré en direct depuis OpenAlex et désinversé. Les résumés ne sont pas conservés dans cette base de données : les index inversés représentent 8,6 Go des 9,3 Go de texte de la base, et le serveur dispose de 13 Go libres.