Divorcing Children: Children’s Experience of Their Parent’s Divorce

This straightforward book is an effort to better understand the process of divorce through children’s eyes. It provides an expanded overview and discussion of a British study that carefully reviewed the experiences of 104 children, aged 7 to 15, with their parent’s separation and divorce. Efforts were made to secure a random, representative sample by approaching recently divorced parents, accessed via the records of six courts throughout Britain. Parent figures and children were approached in respectful and creative ways (e.g. newsletters, website, and activity books). Although there was some use of standardized measures, the principal findings come of detailed, semi-structured interviews with the children themselves. In some topic areas, the perspective of the children was compared to that of parent figures accessed through a questionnaire. With no control group in place, this was essentially a careful piece of qualitative research, which seeks to give voice to the experience of children experiencing divorce. An appendix carefully guides readers through the research process conducted by this multi-disciplinary team. True to their social constructionist viewpoint, efforts are made to highlight what the children had to say, viewing them as the only reliable witnesses to their own experience. Quantitative findings are highlighted with ample direct quotes from interviews with the children. Viewing divorce as a process, they demonstrate that children create meaning and shape their own experiences. Specifically, they explore how the child found out about the parental separation, their experience of sharing and discussing this change with others, impacts upon parent-child relationships, navigating “residence” and “contact” arrangements and their overview of how the change and adaptation process has gone for them. They also review the child’s understanding and experience of the legal process. A concluding chapter summarizes important findings and seeks to apply these to “strategic public policy”. An early chapter looks concisely at the recent evolution of policy and practice in this area in Britain. While not directly relevant to the Canadian context, many similar developments and issues (e.g. the recognition of children’s rights and the difficulty of finding a realistic way that these rights can be exercised in legal matters) have arisen in both jurisdictions. For the most part, this book accomplishes what it has promised to do. Important findings include the common experience of a sense of crisis in these changes for many children, some inconsistency in meeting their needs for reliable information and a variable sense of being adequately supported. Interesting themes were; difficulty communicating with fathers, value of support from friends, and a sense of involvement without understanding the legal process. Direct quotes liven children’s emotions, struggles and successes. Paradoxically, I was perhaps hoping that the children had something more to say. Most of their conclusions would not come as a surprise to clinicians who spend time with children going through these experiences. Although the book allows them to make their case more comprehensively, I have a sense that the key outcomes of their research could be adequately summarized in a journal article. I also found their recommendations for improved public policy somewhat limited and focused primarily on the British context. Overall, I feel that this is a worthwhile contribution to social and clinical understanding of this area. This is a look at a non-clinical population at a certain time, and the authors point out that this is a different vantage position from those who have sought to elucidate the long-term impact of divorce on children. The author’s respectful approach to these children is evident and instructive. This study provides a useful way to keep the child’s experience at the forefront for parents, clinicians and others who seek to support these children. This should also be of interest to those who work within the legal context or who seek to shape the legal system and public policy in this area.

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