A Knish on a Plate of Scones-How to Become Canadian

If I were a food, I'd be a knish, even though on the outside, I look like a scone, everybody thinks I'm English, Scottish, or Irish, or a Canadian-girl Anything light-white, but a knish cause I look simply, floury--white on the outside (no one' s, I repeat, no one identity has been historically simple, either/or). But I'm not, I'm a knish on the dominating Anglo-Canadian plate/landscape--ask yourself, what purposes are served? Who benefits? (check out Fanon, he knows). Scones are still considered superior to knishes and other so-called ethnic-other-outsider foods; more refined, simple yet sophisticated, not an onion in sight, and no detectable odour. The lack of taste is compensated with butter, cream, jams, jellies, and preserves. As a knish, I've learned my lessons on assimilation and acculturation well, indeed, it is threatening the morality of our model immigrant community (constructed as monolithic, rich, and white only). Important (crash) History Lesson--How to Become a Canadian like the rest of the Americas, was discovered, not colonized. The word, colonized, that's anti-Canadian. If you tell, What really happened (you know ... about the ge-no-cide, genociding that still continues) you'll be told to leave the country, and rightly so, you ungrateful Bastard! Euphamisms, misnomers, double-talk, snow-blow jobs, encourage delusion and myth building and becoming Canadian. A group of monarchists, the Canadian Alliance and Tories will introduce legislation to have people deported if they criticize Canada three times: you know, the three strikes law, zero tolerance (of descent). In Canada you will learn this kind of double-talk that is not labeled as such, that doesn't get named (stop calling us bad guys and making us feel bad), it's called HISTORY (the only one that is recognized and legitimate). Anglicize your name (don't expect anyone to make the effort to learn how to pronounce your name) your mind, your body your spirit your heart your friends the way you speak S-P-E-A-K-S-L-O-W-L-YYY and quietly and correct others (especially your parents), even when you understand what they are saying. You are here to learn and promote Standard English and Standard Thinking. Talk web-talk, English, whites only ****Remember you are on your own and don't laugh to yourself on the bus or subway because people will think you are nuts (not the kind you eat). The Canadian mentoring campaign--Pairing up new and old Canadians Change your name please. But why? Because it is too difficult to pronounce (because it sounds ugly and stupid) But it means maker of peace, I was named by my grandmother ... Look, you're in Canada, you're supposed to become Canadian, That means taking an English name, I'm trying to help you The way I was helped What do you mean? What? Who helped you? No one in particular, it began with the family doctor. He was second- or third-generation Canadian. He told my mum she couldn't give us Hebrew or Russian names, because the kids at school would make fun of us, we wouldn't fit in, so: Gedalia became Gary Rosalia became Rosalin Dreijza became Debbie Mordechai became Michael (an appropriated, anglo-Christenized Hebrew name meaning; who is like God) And so began the day when we stopped being Jews, for our own good, for their good ... Hey, you're crying. Yes, never mind. My two brothers made the most successful transition to Canadian-nothingness. …

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