Re-Imagining Home and Belonging: Feminism, Nostalgia, and Critical Memory
Bibliographic record
Abstract
I begin this paper with some personal childhood narratives about the ambivalence I associate with the concept of I use a visit to Lebanon as an opportunity for re-imagining home and for understanding what is at stake when we think of home uncritically as a place of safety and belonging. I argue that the tensions and ambiguities I experience in thinking about Lebanon form productive and useful sites for critical analysis. Through such reflections, I have come to understand that the meanings given to place or memory are rarely contested, and this understanding has become my starting place for critical analysis. I then attempt to unearth in greater detail the processes involved in the creation/contestation of the concept of as well as the place of emotion and memory in such processes. Cet article s'ouvre sur quelques recits personnels d'enfance concernant l'ambivalence que j'associe au concept du >. Je me sers d'une visite au Liban (>) pour repenser > et afin de comprendre ce qui est en jeu lorsque nous pensons > sans dispositif critique comme un lieu de securite et d'appartenance. J'avance l'argument que les tensions et ambigui'tes que j'eprouve en pensant au Liban forment des sites productifs et pratiques pour l'analyse critique. A travers de relies reflexions, j'en suis arrivee a comprendre que lessens accordes au rieu ou a la memoire sont peu souvent contestes, et cette comprehension s'offre comme lieu de depart pour mon analyse critique. J'essaie ensuite de degager en plus grand detail les procedes impliques dans la creation/la contestation du concept de >, ainsi que la situation de l'emotion et de la memoire dans de tels procedes. Introduction: Searching for Home and Belonging, or Where I Begin Last December I went to Lebanon for my cousin's wedding. This was not my first trip home, but it was the first time in 15 years that I visited the neighbourhood and apartment where I had lived for the first nine years of my life. As I looked around, I was struck most by how small it seemed compared to the place I had envisioned in my mind. I'd had a similar experience three years earlier, on my first trip to Lebanon since leaving with my parents and brother in October of 1988. On that first trip, I was similarly amazed at the smallness of my maternal grandparents' home in the Bourge-al-Baragenie Palestinian refugee camp. Until those two moments of recognition, these places had loomed large in my memory, along with an overwhelming and emotional plethora of images, conversations, people, games, and meals I associated with them. As I stood in my old bedroom, I struggled to recall a time in my recent memory when I had thought of this as home. In telling people of my trips, I had lacked any other linguistic expression than that of going back for a visit. Yet, I knew that it had been years since I thought of Lebanon as I had been living in Canada since the age of ten, and looking around my childhood home in Lebanon, I had vivid recollections of yelling at my paternal uncles when they referred to Lebanon as my home: It might be home to you, but this [Toronto] is my home! I would scream at them amid a flurry of emotion that they dismissed as teenage melodrama, constructed as female hypersensitivity, or (mis)understood as a loss of my national roots. I would storm out of the room as they entered into loud and laborious discussions about my being overly sensitive or about our kids being lost in North America. As I look back at these emotionally laden and intensely personal moments, I now understand them as political, as moments ripe for analysis. My screams were born of sheer frustration. I did not know how to make them understand that the place they thought of as our collective familial/ national home did not have the same meaning for me. …
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How this classification was reachedexpand
Full frame machine prediction
Teacher imitationNot calibrated prevalence, not ground truth. Human validation pending. The Gemma side is a direct model label for every work in the frame, read from the title-only record. The Codex side is a classifier learned from the 10,348 direct Codex labels and calibrated to design-weighted sample rates; fields without enough sample support carry no Codex call. Candidate is the union of the two sides; consensus is their intersection. These outputs are machine_predicted_unvalidated and are not human labels.
Distilled classifier scores by category (both heads)
| Category | Codex | Gemma |
|---|---|---|
| Metaresearch | 0.005 | 0.004 |
| Meta-epidemiology (narrow) | 0.001 | 0.000 |
| Meta-epidemiology (broad) | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Bibliometrics | 0.002 | 0.001 |
| Science and technology studies | 0.017 | 0.067 |
| Scholarly communication | 0.010 | 0.010 |
| Open science | 0.002 | 0.008 |
| Research integrity | 0.003 | 0.004 |
| Insufficient payload (model declined to judge) | 0.004 | 0.000 |
Machine scores (provisional)
The two teacher heads of the student model, read on this work. A score orders the frame for review; it never asserts a category, and the validation status ships verbatim with every row.
Baseline scores from an immature model (maturity gate not passed, 7 training rounds). Scores rank; they never assert a category.
score_only:v0-immature-baseline · verbatim from the scoring run: score_only means the number may rank works, and no category label ships from itClassification
machine, unvalidatedMachine predicted; a candidate call from one source (direct Gemma or distilled Codex), not a consensus.
How this classification was reached, model by model and score by score, is at the end of the page under "How this classification was reached".