Bibliographic record
Abstract
This thesis considers whether people living with chronic pain can reimagine their relationship with pain and challenge structural narratives that frame lives lived in pain as less worth living through participation in BDSM (bondage, discipline/Domination, submission/sadism, masochism).Using feminist ethnography shaped by cripistemology, I use crip theory to consider how chronic pain might be experienced differently in a context where interdependence is valued.I argue that by connecting work around queer temporality and José Esteban Muñoz's theory of utopia to BDSM practices it is possible to think pain otherwise.Radical BDSM practices challenge the hermeneutical injustice of chronic pain by allowing people in pain to express it, share it with others, and be fully seen, while also encouraging interdependence.It is through this process that BDSM is one example of queer utopia: a space of potentiality where different futures and perspectives on pain can be imagined outside of straight/capitalist time. Chapter One: IntroductionWhat would it take for a river that polluted to be loved?What would it take for us to know our bodies beautiful?To wash them clean?Naw-not washed clean.What if our working-class, fucked up, chronically-ill, sick, survivor bodies were beautiful just like they are?Beautiful like the fields of weed trees that would bust through the cement of every vacant lot in my hometown 5 weeks after the store that was in it closed?What would it take for a river that polluted to be loved?For cement to bomb open?For my body, for your body, to come back from being washed away?When I flare or I get sick I go to my bed and I fuck myself so hard.I close all the doors and I fuck myself for hours and hours and hours.Sometimes I fuck myself, read library books, and check Facebook all at the same time.My cock in my pussy and my vibrator on my clit stays there forever, sometimes I make myself come like no one else.Sometimes I just hover there in that place before coming for hours, and there is no pain, just me being the slut that kept me alive.When I fuck myself I think of my best friend in rural North Carolina with Lyme disease getting caned by her Daddy boyfriend when she's taken enough oxycontin for her pain.I think about of all of us fucking ourselves in our beds when we're sick.When we're not.I think about how lucky I am to still get to come.When I fuck myself, I think: they didn't wash this away.Filthy, abandoned as not making them any money anymore.Gorgeous.Shaky hipped.Coming.Gorgeous.Wriggling ass down in bed.Slut.They can't put this shit in no culvert.We didn't go anywhere.Even if you didn't visit.This source.She unquenchable.She here after all the bullshit done.She keeps coming.I surrender to it.We right here.All it takes to love a river that polluted, a body this full of story, is to surrender, to love it.I give in. 1 (Piepzna-Samarasinha, 2010) Disabled writer and activist Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha challenges us to consider the radical possibility of giving in.Western cultural norms frame sick, pained, and disabled lives as lives that are less worth living and less worth protecting, but despite these narratives, "they didn't 1 This is a transcript of a spoken word poem performed by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha at a Sins Invalid performance in 2009.For the full impact of the piece, the live performance can be seen at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tj9EeQsh4Lk.The transcript included here is a direct transcript of the words from that specific reading of the poem, and therefore does not exactly match the original words of the poem that are transcribed below the linked video.
Fetched live from OpenAlex and de-inverted. Abstracts are not stored in this database: the inverted indexes are 8.6 GB of the frame’s 9.3 GB of text, and the host has 13 GB free.
How this classification was reachedexpand
Full frame machine prediction
Teacher imitationNot calibrated prevalence, not ground truth. Human validation pending. The Gemma side is a direct model label for every work in the frame, read from the title-only record. The Codex side is a classifier learned from the 10,348 direct Codex labels and calibrated to design-weighted sample rates; fields without enough sample support carry no Codex call. Candidate is the union of the two sides; consensus is their intersection. These outputs are machine_predicted_unvalidated and are not human labels.
Distilled classifier scores by category (both heads)
| Category | Codex | Gemma |
|---|---|---|
| Metaresearch | 0.002 | 0.003 |
| Meta-epidemiology (narrow) | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Meta-epidemiology (broad) | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Bibliometrics | 0.001 | 0.001 |
| Science and technology studies | 0.005 | 0.027 |
| Scholarly communication | 0.004 | 0.004 |
| Open science | 0.000 | 0.004 |
| Research integrity | 0.001 | 0.003 |
| Insufficient payload (model declined to judge) | 0.005 | 0.000 |
Machine scores (provisional)
The two teacher heads of the student model, read on this work. A score orders the frame for review; it never asserts a category, and the validation status ships verbatim with every row.
Baseline scores from an immature model (maturity gate not passed, 7 training rounds). Scores rank; they never assert a category.
score_only:v0-immature-baseline · verbatim from the scoring run: score_only means the number may rank works, and no category label ships from itClassification
machine, unvalidatedMachine predicted; a candidate call from one source (direct Gemma or distilled Codex), not a consensus.
How this classification was reached, model by model and score by score, is at the end of the page under "How this classification was reached".