On finding acceptance

‘Accepted’. This single word drowned out the vernacular in the rest of my acceptance letter to my dream MD/PhD program. In that moment, I was on cloud nine. After all, it was the culmination of both my research and clinical interests that will assuredly set my plan to train as a physician-scientist in oncology into motion. However, celebration soon transformed into empty emotion, and then into anxiety. Why did I feel so lost? To answer this question, my own reflections arrived at many of the same conclusions proposed by Lim et al. that contribute to attrition in the physician-scientist workforce.1Lim K.H. Westphalen C.B. Berghoff A.S. et al.Young oncologists’ perspective on the role and future of the clinician-scientist in oncology.ESMO Open. 2023; 8101625Abstract Full Text Full Text PDF Scopus (3) Google Scholar Beyond the personal, professional, institutional, and national/international factors indicated in this study, I wanted to highlight the often-overlooked but necessary role of mentorship to support the lifelong challenges of the physician-scientist pathway. My pursuit of the physician-scientist pathway was modeled after my own mentors who had completed training in MD/PhD programs. Each convinced me that I had what it takes to train as their future colleague during our intimate career discussions, and I fondly recall feelings of validation that came with my great respect for physician-scientists. I wanted to pursue MD/PhD training to one day fill their shoes. One week before the deadline to confirm my MD/PhD acceptance, I finally pieced together why I felt lost. The dream of MD/PhD training was not my own, but one ingrained by the well-intentioned recommendations of my mentors. When I considered bringing up my personal and practical considerations of this training pathway to my mentors, I expected a mix of shock, heartbreak, and even disrespect. It was none of the above. My mentors were unconditionally faithful and supportive so that I could positively make the right decision for myself. Given inadequate financial funding and my unclear prospects of securing a future position that combines research and clinical duties in the competitive research climate, I could not commit to the pursuit of the MD/PhD with full confidence. After deciding to discontinue my MD/PhD training, I found solace in knowing that my mentors successfully instilled in me the crux of the physician-scientist, regardless of my matriculation into an MD/PhD program—independent, critical thinking. Today, I remain interested in pursuing the physician-scientist training pathway, and find comfort and familiarity in doing so outside of a traditional MD/PhD program with the unconditional support of my research mentors for career and personal advice. As a mentee, we are often enclosed within a microcosm of mentors and find ourselves modeling after their every word due to our dependence for their career advice and letters of recommendation. Encouraging self-discovery by taking the path less travelled requires an unconditional level of faith that only strong mentor–mentee relationships embody. In parallel with our gratitude for our mentors’ support, mentees also owe it to ourselves to make personal decisions based on what feels right for us without fear of retribution for taking paths less travelled. As mentees, we all want to feel accepted in making our own unique decisions, and as future mentors, we should embrace when our mentees expect the same. The author thanks his mentors for their continued guidance and support. None declared.

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