The Destroyer & The Destroyed: The Testimonio of a Fragmented Mestizx Jota Entrapped Inside a White Straight(jacket)
Bibliographic record
Abstract
Buscando compartir un “aja”/conocimiento, I follow the huaraches of Xicanx and Mestizx feminist storytellers by sharing theory in my flesh. A testimonio by a fragmented Mestizx jota entrapped inside a white straight(jacket) constructed by my internalized colonialism. I share this testimonio as a tool to situate my body and articulate the ways my entire being has been broken into pieces by hegemonic power structures. Following Anzaldúa’s (2002) offering to redeem heart-rending memories and transform them into knowledge to empower our communities, I begin by navigating metaphorical/geographical borders of identity to reveal inside painful fissures a “papelito guardado” (Latina Feminist Group 2001). Through poetry and visual art, I uncover my self-inflicted fragmentation and discuss how internalized colonialism provided the tools to split my identity in two—the destroyer and the destroyed. I conclude this paper using a decolonial imaginary (Pérez 1999), by sharing a short story about how I wish my childhood had been in Mexico. An imaginary without the necessity of hiding my jotería and transness.
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How this classification was reachedexpand
Full frame machine prediction
Teacher imitationNot calibrated prevalence, not ground truth. Human validation pending. The Gemma side is a direct model label for every work in the frame, read from the title-only record. The Codex side is a classifier learned from the 10,348 direct Codex labels and calibrated to design-weighted sample rates; fields without enough sample support carry no Codex call. Candidate is the union of the two sides; consensus is their intersection. These outputs are machine_predicted_unvalidated and are not human labels.
Distilled classifier scores by category (both heads)
| Category | Codex | Gemma |
|---|---|---|
| Metaresearch | 0.001 | 0.003 |
| Meta-epidemiology (narrow) | 0.001 | 0.000 |
| Meta-epidemiology (broad) | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Bibliometrics | 0.001 | 0.001 |
| Science and technology studies | 0.011 | 0.006 |
| Scholarly communication | 0.003 | 0.002 |
| Open science | 0.001 | 0.004 |
| Research integrity | 0.003 | 0.004 |
| Insufficient payload (model declined to judge) | 0.005 | 0.000 |
Machine scores (provisional)
The two teacher heads of the student model, read on this work. A score orders the frame for review; it never asserts a category, and the validation status ships verbatim with every row.
Baseline scores from an immature model (maturity gate not passed, 7 training rounds). Scores rank; they never assert a category.
score_only:v0-immature-baseline · verbatim from the scoring run: score_only means the number may rank works, and no category label ships from itClassification
machine, unvalidatedMachine predicted; a candidate call from one source (direct Gemma or distilled Codex), not a consensus.
How this classification was reached, model by model and score by score, is at the end of the page under "How this classification was reached".