An awakening of the Metis spirit within : understanding my struggle with identity within the educational system

This thesis is written from the heart.It is an examination of my experiences as I joumey through the educational system from the perspectives of both learner and educator.It is an exploration of my experiences in trying to make sense of who I am as an educator and a Métis person.Through a blended use of Indigenous and Western methodologies, I capture the various experiences encountered as I struggled with the development of my identity and the effects the educational system has had during that process.These experiences are captured through the sharing of my 'stories' and visions, as well as the process ofjoumaling.It is through reflection and analysis of these experiences that I 'make meaning' and learn from them, retelling and articulating my understandings.Woven throughout the thesis are the issues of isolation, alienation, belonging, and connectedness which are associated with personal experiences with racism and oppression.Counter balancing the struggles is the voice of hope in the abilities of educators to understand the need for belonging and the importance of relationship and community building.Through a critical analysis of my experiences, I attempt to 'make meaning' of the current system and share my recommendations for the changes I believe are required to ensure education meets the needs of Aboriginal and Métis students in particular.The concept of change, in practices and systems is integral to education supporting a process of decolonizationand healing.I offer my insights in the hope that my story will create the opportunity for educators to understand the potential role they play in this process and in the development of identity and voice of Métis learners within the educational system. Honouring my Métis and Aboriginal Brothers and SistersThere have been many Aboriginal people who have shared their thoughts and words and influenced me throughout this joumey in many ways.Whether they were shared in ceremony, at community gatherings, in quiet conversations, articulated through written venues, expressed in conference settings, or via technology, there have been many individuals who have helped to guide my development, thought processes and the articulation of 'My Story'.There have also been many young people, with whom I have had the pleasure of sharing my life.Each were gentle guides, alright, some not so gentle, but still very much appreciated, in their own ways.To them I say Marsee.I miss the daily connection with you immensely.Not to be Forgotten Finally, to my non-Aboriginal friends, brothers and sisters, you know who you are, those of you who have been instrumental in keeping me on track, challenging my position and encouragingmy growth.I say Marsee.A special thanks to those individuals who were apartof the original Master's Cohort Group.V/orking my way through the reconnection to post-secondary education and the memories and experiences that resurfaced as I began this journey would have been that much more difficult to go through had it not been for the 'group' we had.I would be less without having walked this path with all of you.Marsee (Michif) Miigwech (Ojibwe) Ekosi (Cree) Muhsi (Dene) Thank you (English) lv Preface Although I did not realize it in the beginning, the journey that I am on is one of healing, reclaiming, reconnecting and reawakening.Today I can tell you it is part of the process of decolonization.When I began, I did not even understand that I had been colonized.This journey began as an initial stirring from within, my quiet awareness of young Aboriginal faces in the halls, my pleasure in knowing they were there and my disappointment and curiosity when they slowly disappeared.The questioning that followed and the need to understand why this was happening was part of the process as well.The Elders tell us that things happen for a reason, this I believe to be true.I never questioned who I was until I began to notice and look for Aboriginal youth in the halls of the high school in which I taught.These young people have given me much over the years, but the most important gift they gave was their gentle push to start me on this journey.What follows are my thoughts, stories, journal entries, recollections of events and reflections . . .essentially 'My Story'.As I share them with you, I attempt to identify them through the use of italics.What I believe to be true today, and how it connects with other Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal scholars, encompasses the remainder of the words.The traditional teachings I make reference to and share with you are those that have been gifted to me by different Elders and traditional teachers that have been and continue to be apart of my journey.I was careful to select those teachings that I have previously seen referenced in print by other Aboriginal authors and thus feel more comfortable in putting them down in writing.There are others I have received that I have not yet seen on paper and out of respect to the sacredness of our ways and those who have shared them I will continue to carry them within.The decision to share traditional teachings is a difficult one.There is a need to balance the desire to help others learn about, and understand to some degree, Aboriginal philosophies and the recognition that they are holistic in nature, multi-layered and faceted, with many sacred processes incorporated, and thus difficult to articulate through a restrictive print medium.Our traditional teachings are shared through a oralmethod of teaching and embedded in the language, teacher, place and purpose.The struggles and complexities related to writing about Aboriginal Philosophies are further articulated by Fitznor (199S) in"The Circle of Life: Affirming Aboriginal philosophies in Everyday Living."I ask the reader to not assume integrate knowledge of these philosophies and teachings merely by reading my words.To acquire an appropriate level of understanding, I encourage people to seek out knowledgeable individuals, traditional teachers, and Elders and sit with them to leam in an appropriate manner.Throughout this process, I have also been fortunate to learn from and reflect on many thoughts and words from many other Aboriginal writers.In wanting to support the A Note about TerminologY Aboriginøl is a term commonly used in a generic sense to include the three main groups of people recognized as the original peoples of this land.It is used in section 35(2) of the Constitution Act, 1982,to identiff the Indian (Status and non-Status),Inuit and Métis peoples of Canada.Aboriginal perspectiv¿s is used in reference to the worldview of the Aboriginal cultures.These are seen as distinct from the mainstream culture of Canada.This worldview presents human beings as inhabiting a universe made by the Creator and striving to live in a relationship with nature, one another and oneself.Each Aboriginal culture expresses this worldview in different ways, with different practices, stories and cultural products.First Nøtíons is a term used to refer to the many distinct nations of the original inhibitors of 'Turtle Island' (a term used to describe the North American continent in many Aboriginal cultures), or what is commonly known as North America.It is generally used when referring to people who are associated with treaties and is often used interchangeably with the term Indian.Indiøn is a term with social and historical significance.It is an elroneous label given to the Indigenous people of this land when Columbus arrived on this hemisphere.This term is also legal terminology and is used in legislation such as the Indian Act, which governs the First Nations people of Canada.Commonly used by many people of Aboriginal ancestry, it is also often used in a derogatory sense.It is a term commonly used by writers in the U.S. as a generic term' Indigenous is used to refer to the many Peoples across the world, who are the original inhabitants or'native' to the land they have lived on since time immemorial.Inuit is the term used to identiff the Aboriginal or Indigenous Peoples of the farthest northern point of Canada.Métís is used in reference to people of mixed Aboriginal and European ancestry.The history of the Métis dates back to the days of the fur trade when Aboriginal people, particularly the Cree, and French or French-Canadian people married.The use of this term is discussed in fuither detail in Chapter Five' Native was a term commonly used to identify people born in the area to which reference is made.This term was very commonly used prior to the adoption of the word Aboriginal in the Constitution Act, 1982.lt is still used today by Aboriginal people, but is also often heard as a negative reference to Aboriginal people' xll CHAPTER ONE Clariffing My Thoughts Beginning the Journev Tanshi, Anin, Tansi, wotziye,a Hello, and welcome to all of my brothers and sisters, I greet you with an open heart and ask you to sit and join me as we move together through this journey.I thank you Creator for the strength, wisdom, insight and understanding that we find guiding us as we hear the stories, listen to the words, respect the gifts and honour the voices of all who have shared of themselves in so many ways in order for us to joumey together.I know you will look after our hearts and care for us with tenderness and love, giving us the strength and courage to hear and the wisdom to understand what our ancestors share with us through these simple words.Positionins Mvself in the Circle This thesis is about my struggle with identity and colonizatiorVdecolonizations within the educational system.It will speak directly to the issues of isolation, belonging, self-esteem, connectedness, and the development of relationships/community within the context of a Métis experience.I will explore my initial lack of understanding of who I am as a Métisperson, the cultural exposr¡re I have had including my experiences with racism and my discovery of and struggle with 'voice'.I will pay particular attention to

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